Who are you?

I wonder how you answered. Do you say your name, your job title or a role you fulfil? Is that really who you are?

When you explore your identity you may discover some interesting layers that you may never have considered.

In NLP you become aware of the power of language and as you notice that you become aware of your “I” language.

Whenever you say “I am —-” (fill in the blank how you wish) you are creating a complex equivalence.


What is a complex equivalence?

This is where you assume one thing equals another.

For example,

“I am anxious”


translates as

“I” = “anxious”


Anxiety has become an expression of Identity temporarily blocking you from other versions of yourself. This how you can become stuck in anxiety, depression or nervousness.


Is that really how you want to live?


If you recognise the tendency to use unhelpful Identity labels there are some simple changes you make that can start to make a difference.


  1. Start by bringing your “I” statements into awareness. Write down any that you use a lot.
  2. The next step is to re fame how you are talking to yourself.


For example, instead of

“I am anxious”



“I am feeling some anxiety”


“I am noticing some anxious self talk”


“I am experiencing some anxiety in my body”


Changing how you talk to yourself can make a big difference to how you feel. The examples above move your self talk out of Identity statements into experiences. This reduces the power of the issue and allows you to access other ways of being.

By first breaking the chain of negative identity labels in your self talk you are freeing yourself up for something better. Soon you will be able to claim a new Identity.

“I am Enough”

This will lead to you knowing you are the best version of you!

If you add other NLP approaches you can feel even better.


If you want to make a difference in your life talk to Melody about how NLP Practitioner can be the beginning of a new you!



Melody Cheal MSc MAPP
Follow GWiz
Latest posts by Melody Cheal MSc MAPP (see all)